What a lovely day for an AssParade. I was just driving down PCH when I noticed these two Latina chicks sticking their asses out and feeling each other up. I thought to myself, “this might be the best way to get murdered when they rob me after I let them in my house,” but why be paranoid. So I pulled over and ask them if they needed a ride. Their replies were far to incoherent to accurately reproduce here. We went back and forth flirting and talking about how hot they thought they were, but in the end it was the idea of proving that they could make me eat my less than appreciative words that built a sort of dare out of the sex that was waiting just up the stairs. For some reason the prettier of the two insisted on crawling up the stairs. Her friend, who looked like that chick who plays Carla on Scrubs, took the preferred upright method of ascent. Once up stairs I took the liberty of oiling those deliciously ripe asses up. Before I knew what was taking place, they were both down on the floor showing me yoga moves on recently vacuumed carpet. One thing led to another and I was in blowjob city. Now you might be thinking, “sweet two chicks at once,” but what you don’t know it that this scenario leads to an AssParade of mental images of old womens yellowing, ridged, toe nails. Seriously, I had to picture my grandmother getting a pedicure just to keep from nutting the second I slid into the non-Carla one. I only made it a couple minutes before exploding like a water balloon all over their faces and hair. They weren’t happy and expressed it in the sort of Spanglish that should be reserved for car accidents and broken heels. I left those pictures off so that you wouldn’t suffer from the nightmares that I am now plagued with.